


I'm Fine

by Elvesliketrees



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Adam should complain more, Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, sick!adam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvesliketrees/pseuds/Elvesliketrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's work to be done, and Adam isn't going to let a little stomach ache stop him, because he's fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ache of the Stomach

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, just had this idea for an Adam-centric fic! Warning for some pretty vivid medical details on...whatever it is that Adam has. Thanks to WebMD for giving me the list of symptoms for Adam's surprise illness!

"Well boys, it seems like we have our work cut out for us this year," Pa sighed. Adam looked up from his plate and sighed.

"Couldn't find anyone yesterday?" he asked.

"No, I was out in the saloons until after dark, and I had no luck. With the mines paying so well, we'll be short-handed this year," Pa sighed.

"Maybe if we just give it some more time..." Joe suggested.

"We cain't, Shortshanks," Hoss said with a sad smile, "We're barely gonna make it to Frisco as it is, cain't wait no longer."

"It was a good suggestion son, but Hoss is right. We'll drive the herd tomorrow," Pa said. With that, Pa put his napkin on the table and joined him in front of the fire. He'd just gotten a new novel by Charles Dickens, and was eager to read at least an hour tonight.

"Hey Adam, wanna play checkers?" Hoss teased. Adam threw him a glare and opened his book. He heard Hoss and Joe setting up the board and sank down deeper into his blue chair. Soon, his brothers' banter was filtered from his mind, all his concentration on the story that was being played out in his mind. He was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into his Pa's smiling dark eyes.

"Come on son, I think its time we got some sleep," Pa observed. Adam rose from his chair, surprised that his legs were numb. He stumbled and caught him. Pa shot him a knowing smile as he went into his own bedroom and closed the door. Adam quickly changed and threw himself down on the bed. Tomorrw, round-up would start. After that, it was two weeks of endless dust. Then, they would see the shining town of San Francisco. His Pa said they would head straight home afterwards, considering the disaster that was the Barbary Coast of last year's "vacation". He fell asleep with Hop Sing and his endless line of cousins running through his mind. The next morning, it was round-up. Pa was in front, leading the herd to the pasture where'd they be until their stubborn brethren could be brought in. They'd been collecting strays for a good two weeks now, so they wouldn't have to wander around looking any longer. Adam could see Hoss on his side of the herd, calling out to the cows as they moved along. He was on the left side, across from Hoss, and he could barely see Joe in the back, riding drag. Hop Sing and the chuckwagon rumbled along behind the drag riders. Adam waved his hat a stubborn cow and continued to move forward. Just then, a dull ache settled in his stomach. He rubbed at it and rolled his eyes. They had no time for petty complaints. It was a three week haul to San Francisco, and Pa didn't have time for small complaints. Soon, the pain subsided and Adam smiled. He knew it, there was nothing to worry about, and Pa would have fussed for nothing. His breakfast probably just didn't agree with him. A week later, the herd was all gathered. As they sat by the fire that night, Pa sighed and looked up at the stars.

"Another two weeks, and then we'll be in Frisco boys," Pa sighed.

"I wish you'd let us stay for vacation," Joe grumbled.

"NO!!" three voices cried simultaneously. Joe held his hands up in surrender and stetched out on his bedroll. Adam got up and mounted on Sport. He had the first shift of night-herd, and he wasn't about to make the mistake of being late.

"Be careful son," Pa called. Adam gave him a nod and went to the herd. There were nearly seven hundred head this year, and Adam had to make sure they were all safe. Two others hands rode in a circuit on out side of the pasture, just in case a cow or two broke past his watch. Just then, the dull ache returned.

"Damn it all!" Adam hissed, then looked around to be sure that no one heard him, Pa didn't take to that kind of language. Singing, singing always helped him. He couldn't bother Pa with such a small thing, he was fine. He shook his head and smiled at the song that Toby had taught him when he was about fifteen. It was a song that Toby had made him swear only to sing in his presence, and his presence only. After Adam heard the lyrics, he was only too glad to comply, both in the name of common sense and self-preservation. His cleared his throat and let loose with his strong tenor.

_Oh I met_ _Sue from Kentucky_

_A lass both bright and fair_

_Her hair so golden shining_

_Her breasts so round and firm_

_And when I met the little lass..._

When Adam was done with the song, his stomach had ceased to hurt. He smiled, though this ache had gone on for a little longer than the others, it too had dissapeared. He shook his head, he was fine, there was no use bothering Pa with his nonsense. He sang to the herd all four hours, songs both amoral and beautiful, lullabies that he had sung to a baby brother as they bounced along in the back of a wagon, or as he rocked in a rocking chair with Hoss in his lap, the six year-old "holding" his new baby brother. The aches did not return that night. After breakfast, he had another attack, but thought that it was just breakfast disagreeing with him. He never said anything, knowing that Hop Sing would have his hide over the insinuations over his food, and that his Pa would fuss endlessly. He would just eat less, allow his stomach some rest. Besides, if he was completely honest with himself, the thought of food no longer really was appealing. He started hoping that his stomach ache would go away soon. When lunched rolled around, he made sure to be scarce. When he remounted Sport, he was confronted by a worried father.

"Son, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Pa asked worriedly.

"Of course Pa, I'm feeling fine," Adam said. Pa didn't look convinced, Adam was always fine, and they both knew it. Pa gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and gave him a wrapped package. Adam opened it to find one of Hop Sing's hot sandwhiches, one of his favorites.

"Hop Sing thought you could use something warm, not just a cold sandwhich," Pa said as nonchalantly as he could. Adam grimaced, now he  had Hop Sing worried. "He noticed that you didn't eat much at breakfast this morning, and that you weren't at lunch," Pa commented. Fantastic, now Adam knew he had both men worried.

"I'll be fine Pa," Adam said.

"Of course son," Pa answered as he gave his hand one squeeze and walked towards Buck. Adam knew that he was only following the silent agreement that had existed between them for years. The agreement that had been formed after a little boy of five years had caused his Pa so much worry, though he'd gained a mother because of that worry. Adam would always be fine. Pa could come to his own conclusions and tell the doctor to come over Adam's protests, but Adam would alway be fine, until Adam was absolutely sure he wasn't. Those occasions were few and far between, and always caused his father to panic, so Adam was cautious in telling his father of any illness. Of course, that still didn't stop Ben Cartwright from coming to his own conclusions.

"Aw Pa, why didn't I get a hot sandwhich?" Joe whined as he and Cochise drew up alongside Adam. Pa shot the young man a fearsome glare, which caused Joe to mumble a half-hearted apology. Adam rode to his spot in the herd and tried to think happy thoughts. He was able to choke down his sanwhich, a treat on a drive in which as little time as possible was spent cooking. Adam could feel Pa's eyes on him all day, and he knew that he was probably getting the same treatment from Hop Sing. For all his biting remarks, the cook was family. And so things continued like this for a week. The pains grew more often and in greater duration, and Adam barely ate anything. He could start to feel his ribs, and he felt guilt when he witnessed his Pa's near frantic attempts to get him to eat. Hop Sing tried his best with his limited supplies. Adam barely slept, his aches making it hard to get comfortable. Finally, the night before they were to get to San Francisco, he sat watching the herd. Suddenly, a sharp pain pierced him, lower than the dull ache. He bent over double and tried to stop the tears from coming. In a minute, the pain was over. Was he really fine? He didn't know, but it was no use bothering Pa.  He swallowed thickly and began to sing.

_Oh I met Sue from Kentucky..._

Over on his bedroll, Ben tried to blink away his tears as he begged for his son's trust. He knew he wasn't fine, he would just never admit it.

\---

"Look Pa, Frisco!" Hoss cried. Pa clapped him on the shoulder.

"Indeed! I say that we skip lunch and head into the city, we'll have a nice big dinner, a day of rest, and then we'll head on back!" Pa proclaimed. Adam nodded with a smile. He was glad, no lunch meant no half-hearted excuses. They got the animals to the pens and handed them over to the dealer.

"Well, I'm sure glad to be rid of them!" Joe sighed. Pa clapped him on the shoulder.

"As are we all son, now let's get some dinner and some rest!" Pa proclaimed. They paid the hands and rode on over to the hotel. Hop Sing went to visit his cousins. When they got to their rooms, they all settled down. After some idle chit chat, Hoss suggested they go and get their dinner.

"You all go on ahead, I think I'll stay here and get some rest," Adam said as casually as could be. Pa looked at him with fear in his eyes.

"Are you alright son, you barely ate any breakfast and no lunch!" Ben worried.

"I'm just a little tired. You go on, I think I saw some fruit on the table when we came in, I'll just eat that," Adam replied.

"Alright son, if you're sure your feeling well," Ben said cautiously.

"I'm fine Pa, go on and get something to eat," Adam replied with a smile. They all left and Adam breathed a sigh of relief. He walked slowly over to his mirror and lifted up his shirt. His ribs stood out against his body, but his stomach was swollen. When it was pressed, Adam winced in pain. Adam threw himself onto his bed and wished for the pain to go away. He just had to make it home, then maybe he would tell his Pa he wasn't fine. He was asleep when the others came back, and Ben noticed that he hadn't eaten any of the fruit.

"Pa, you reckon we should get the doctor?" Hoss asked.

"He would never agree, I think he's just tired," Ben replied and prayed to God that he was right. They left the day after next for the ranch. Adam ate as little as he had before, depsite his Pa's now overtly frantic attempts to get him to eat. The sharp pains would not stop. They moved lower and lower. The day before they got to the Ponderosa, Adam vomited after his attack. Adam only prayed that he would get better soon. He berated himself for causing so much trouble over a stomach ache. They finally got back to the ranch, and Pa took Sport's reins away from Adam. "Adam I know you hate to admit it, but I don't think you're well. You go on and get up to bed, I'll take care of Sport," he said. Adam didn't have the strength reply. This only scared his father more. He threw himself into bed and slept until breakfast the next morning. He got up feeling not well. Another pain seized him and he vomited in the chamber pot. It was mostly phlegm, as nothing was in his stomach. He was flushed, and he knew he was running a temperature. The sharp pains were low and almost constant now. He came down the stairs and sat at the table. Hop Sing put a large plate of food in front of him, looking at him as if daring him not to eat it. Adam pushed the food around, much to the worry of Pa. "Come on son, you didn't have dinner yesterday. You must be hungry," Ben almost pleaded. Adam looked up at him with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Pa, I think I'll just get started on my chores," Adam replied. Without another word, he grabbed his hat and gun and was out the door.

"Pa..." Joe said quietly.

"I know, I'll talk to him," Ben sighed. Before he could go out the door, Adam and Sport were out and away.

"Boy no get lunch!" Hop Sing screeched.

"He'll be back in for lunch," Hoss said. Hop Sing nodded and went grumbling back into the house. Adam worked on the fence all day. The pain was so great he could barely move, so he made up for his speed by not going in for lunch. If he was honest with himself, he didn't think he could mount Sport or eat. It was passing bloody water that made his decision for him. He was definitely _not_ fine. After vomiting, he made his way to Sport and mounted up. He would tell Pa, and Pa would get the doctor. He rode up to the ranch and took care of Sport. Pa was at his desk.

"Pa..." he said tentatively.

"Adam not right now," Pa said. Adam nodded. Pa was a busy man, he shouldn't be bothered over a stomach ache. He went upstairs to his room. He just needed some rest and he would be fine. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Ben walked up the stairs, berating himself for ignoring Adam. He carried a plate filled with food, and he would be damned if Adam didn't eat it. He hadn't eaten breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Joe and Hoss watched silently as their father mounted the stairs. Ben knocked on Adam's door and got no answer. Worried, he went in and found a sleeping son. Ben tucked the covers in around him and kissed his forehead. He was warm. Damn it!

"Alright son," he whispered, "Enough is enough, tomorrow Joe'll get the doctor." If he could have the stomach swollen to nearly twice its size or witnessed the pains, he would not have waited until morning.

When Adam roused the next morning, he saw red. Maybe he shouldn't get Pa after all, he was fine. And so, Adam Cartwright somehow got dressed and went downstairs. He snuck past Hop Sing and saddled Sport. Through the haze of pain, he knew that he needed to mend fences. He mounted up but found his couldn't see. He trust Sport to guide him and tried not to vomit on his horse. Maybe this was a bad idea. After about twenty feet, he knew that he should've gotten Pa.

Ben was furious. He stomped down to the breakfast table and confronted his two sons. "Where's your brother?" he demanded. Both shrugged. "Alright," Ben sighed, "Enough is enough. After breakfast, You and I will get him, Hoss, while Joe rides for the doctor." They finished their meal and were shocked at the sight which greeted them in the front yard. Ben was the first to react.

"Adam!" he cried. He picked up his son, who promptly vomited on him.

"Hurts Pa," he whimpered.

"What hurts son?" he asked.

"Sorry Pa, don't wanna be a bother," he replied.

"Oh son," Ben whispered. He clutched Adam to his chest. He vomited again, this time blood. "Joe, ride to town, fast as you can. Get the doctor and get him out here, get him out here _now_ ," Ben whispered, "Hoss get him up to his room." Both boys did as commanded, and Ben watched as Joe rode frantically for town. "Oh Adam, what have you gotten yourself into now?" Ben whispered. Hoss carried his brother to bed and tucked him in. Hop Sing appeared at the door. "Get some water and towels, and then boil some more water for the doctor," Ben commanded. Hop Sing left the room without a word.

"Pa, he's dang near burnin' up," Hoss breathed. Ben nodded and felt his son's forehead. He was very feverish, and his body was wracked with chills. He was curled up in a ball, arms around his stomach. Ben rubbed his back and whispered soothing nothings in his ear.

"What's wrong with 'im?" Hoss whispered.

"I don't know, I just hope the doctor gets here quick enough," Ben replied. It took two hours for Joe to come racing in with the doctor in two. He and Joe burst into the door to find a pacing Hoss.

"You better go on up Doc, Adam's mighty sick," Hoss said quietly. Doc Martin took his bag from Joe and took the stairs two at a time. He'd been a regular guest at the ranch and knew where everything was. He ran into Adam's room to find a worried Ben holding his son's hand.

"Alright Ben, tell me what's the matter," Doc Martin said as he opened up his bag.

"He's been off for the last month. He won't eat, and his stomach seems to be hurting him. He's not woken up since he collapsed in the yard and he's running a fever. He's vomiting, sometimes blood sometimes phlegm, and he passes bloody water, had to change him into his nightshirt and saw it," Ben said quickly.

"Go on downstairs while I take a look at him," Paul commanded. Ben quietly got up and left. He sank down on his chair while Joe and Hoss sat on the settee quietly. It seemed that Paul was in the room for a matter of minutes before he came running down the stairs and nearly crashed into Ben. He held up a hand to stop Ben's questions.

"Ben, I'm going to have to do surgery. I need Hop Sing and warm water," he commanded. Ben quickly fetched the needed supplies. It was hours before Paul descended the stairs once again.

"What was wrong with him?" Joe asked. Paul sank down into a chair and accepted a coffee from Ben.

"Just let me drink this, then I'll explain," Paul said quietly.

\---

He was floating. No, this was a world without pain. How long had it been since he'd felt no pain? It had certainly been more than two weeks. What was wrong with him? He had to get up, he'd worry Pa. No, Pa was near frantic as it was, couldn't  worry him anymore. Then something running through his hair. It was a hand, large and warm. Then he felt the pain. It was on his stomach. It wasn't the sharp pain of the ache, it was constant and throbbing. He moaned.

"Adam, Adam son, come on now, look at me," a voice pleaded.

"Pa?" he asked.

"That's right son, its all right, Pa's here. Now, can you open your eyes for me?" Pa asked. Adam did as Pa asked. He was in a chair beside his bed, running a hand through his hair.

"What happened?" he groaned. He tried to sit up, but a hand on his chest prevented him from moving.

"Stay still son, you've been through a rough time. You just lay here for me. The doctor said he'd be back in the morning," Pa soothed. Adam made another attempt at getting up, but was again rebuffed.

"All this fuss over a stomach ache?" Adam said laughingly.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?" Pa asked.

"You were busy Pa, and had other things to worry about besides a stomach ache from me," Adam replied.

"Its wasn't a stomach ache Adam!" Ben snapped, "Doctor Martin was forced to do surgery! We could have lost you!"

"What was wrong with me?" Adam asked tentatively.

"The aches were your appendix swelling. That was why your stomach was big while you were so thin. When you passed out off your horse, that was your appendix getting ready to burst. If he hadn't arrived when he had..." Pa said quietly. Adam gaped at him.

"I almost died over a stomach ache?" he asked.

"This is no laughing matter son. You know you can come to me with anything! Why couldn't you tell me you were in pain?" Pa asked quietly.

"I didn't want to worry you," Adam sighed.

"Adam, its a father's job to be worried. Trust me, I can handle anything," Pa admonished, "Now get some sleep. You're going to be just fine son." Adam shifted under the covers as Pa pulled them up to his chin. He knew that his father would be going nowhere until he was asleep. He closed his eyes and knew that everything was finally right. Maybe it was okay to be not fine sometimes.

 

 


	2. Splinter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is fine, really, it's just some bruises, and family comes first. Warning for medical gore!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kranny and krystal for the great idea and encouragement to make this a multi-chapter! Thanks to Hindawi for providing me some info on Adam's condition. This is now basically going to be a 5+1 kind of deal. The five times Adam's stubbornness nearly killed him (and Pa) and the time that it kept him alive.

It was about six months since Adam’s “incident”. It had been three months since Pa _finally_ let him out of bed. His body had taken quite a beating, what with the dehydration and starvation that had occurred before Doc Martin ripping out his innards. Pa had fussed intensely, no tactics that Adam usually was able to use to get out of bed worked. He was stuck, with no help from Hoss or Joe, which was unusual. It seemed that everyone was on edge since his close call. Pa was incredibly vigilant where his health was concerned, as were both his brothers. This was the first month that he hadn’t been restricted to yard chores. Now, he and Joe were preparing to check the herd in the winter valley. “Now, it’s very cold out, so I want you to remember your coat, Adam. Joe, if he seems to get too cold, you two just head on home,” Pa fussed.

“Don’t worry Pa, I’ll haul him home,” Joe said with a small smile.

“I’m fine, Pa,” Adam said quietly.

“That’s what ya said last time,” Hoss grunted.

“Son, if you feel at all ill…” Pa said cautiously. Even if Adam was trying to let Pa fuss over him some more, everyone knew that Adam was still prone to push him away.

“I’ll come straight home,” Adam said with a small smile.

“Thank you son, that’s all I ask,” Pa said quietly. Breakfast was finally finished and the men started to clean up. Adam swung his yellow coat onto his back and buttoned up all but the top two buttons. He looked behind him to see Pa holding up a scarf with a sheepish grin. Adam rolled his eyes dramatically but still took the scarf. Pa cleared his throat and fingered the top of his coat. Adam groaned and buttoned up his buttons. He raised an eyebrow and Pa nodded slightly. He and Joe were out the door before Pa decided to swaddle him. He mounted Sport while Joe got on Thunder. While he usually prefered to ride Cochise, his beloved paint, he would occasionally take one of the green horses. Thunder had the makings of an amazing cow-pony, though he was still a bit skittish and very green. The valley that they were going to could only be accessed using a path with a steep fall on one side. They needed to check the herd before the weather got bad and made the path impossible to master. They set out into the crisp, morning air. The sun was high and the grass was white with frost. They would be having snow very soon. Beside him, Joe cleared his throat.

“Something on your mind?” he asked with a small sigh. His brother fiddled with his scarf, an obvious sign that this would not be a conversation that he would enjoy.

“Adam, you know that Pa means well, right?” he asked tentatively.

“I know that Joe, it’s just that I’m not used to it,” Adam sighed.

“I know that, and I ain’t askin’ ya to jump for joy when he does fuss, but maybe you could tell him when you aren’t feeling well,” Joe said quietly.

“But if I told him I wasn’t feeling well, he would panic,” Adam said.

“You’re right, he would at first, but if you started doing it more often, maybe he would panic less. I can’t say that I understand what you had to go through as a little kid. I know that we didn’t have much when you were little, and that you couldn’t really complain. I see that, and Pa sees it too. I think that it makes him guilty, that you couldn’t complain as a kid, and now that you’re grown you can’t complain about anything,” Joe suggested cautiously. When had his kid brother gotten so mature? This speech was well beyond his eighteen years. He was right though, he didn’t know what it was like, to go to bed hungry or to have to take care of a baby all day because Pa had to drive the wagon. He only thanked God that Hoss had been such a quiet and easy baby. But his brother was right, he couldn’t complain. If he did, he would cause Pa to panic, and he couldn’t deal with that. He couldn’t deal with the fact that the fear that would be in Pa’s eyes would be because of him. He would have to be strong as steel and as unbreakable as the pines that their legacy was named after. He would allow himself to complain in emergencies, but only then. He saw Joe looking at him, and he could tell that his little brother knew exactly what was going on his head. He spurred Sport onwards, and Joe followed suit, silently glad to be able to put Thunder through his paces. They neared the ridge and could hear the echoes of rocks bouncing around. “Rains must have loosened the rocks,” Joe murmured.

“Nothing to worry over, the ridge is below us,” Adam said soothingly.

“Yeah, besides, this might be our last chance to check the herd,” Joe said quietly. He spurred Thunder on, and Adam quickly followed suit. Joe and Thunder were the furthest away from the ridge, with Adam and Sport trotting next to the edge. Neither of the two young men could have thought that the next five seconds could have happened. A large rock must have dislodged and rolled down the ridge. It was not an uncommon occurrence, but Thunder was still young and reckless. The rock came to a stop with a shattering boom, and the horse’s eyes widened in fear. He gave a fierce neigh and reared. Sport, fiery as ever, instantly turned and started to back up. The green pony tried to charge forward, towards the ridge.

“Joe!!” Adam thundered, “Settle him down!!” His brother had a death-grip on the reins and was desperately trying to calm the terrified animal. It looked like he was trying to jump off, but the horses strange angle didn’t allow his legs to swing themselves from the saddle. Sport continued to back up and Thunder continued to edge towards the ridge. “Cut the cinch Joe, the cinch!” Adam cried, not even thinking of his own plight. Adam didn’t even know if his brother heard his panicked command. By the time he looked behind Sport and saw that the animal was near the ridge as well, it was too late. With a terrified scream, Adam was sent tumbling down the ridge as Sport slipped and then bolted forward, just to stay on the path. The last thing that Adam heard was a howl from Joe and a scream from Thunder, letting him know that Joe’s efforts had been in vain.

When Adam regained consciousness, it was to a world of pain. He tried to move, only to muffle a scream with his sleeve. He could feel wetness on his stomach. He pulled his coat around his stomach (the buttons had come undone during the fall, but luckily they were still attached). He felt a strange pulling, but he didn’t mind that. He tried to remember what happened. Sport had went over the edge, but had stayed on his feet, getting back on the path. Adam remembered flipping out of the saddle, and then a scream. There wasn’t anything else. Joe! He chided himself, aghast at his ignorance. He was fine, or else he would be in a few minutes, but he needed his brother. He looked around and saw Sport grazing by the ridge, amazing how his horse stayed right where he needed him to. But, he would consider probability later. He looked around some more and finally spotted Joe and Thunder. Thunder was dead, his neck broken. Adam felt a pang of sympathy for the animal. However, most of his concern was over his brother. He got up and instantly howled in pain. His stomach must be very bruised. He staggered over to Joe. He had blood on his head and his leg was bent. On closer inspection, Adam could see the bone and knew that he had to get Joe to Pa _now_. He shook Joe’s shoulder lightly, and was delighted when he heard a moan.

“‘Dam?” he groaned.

“Yeah, c’mon little brother, time to get up,” Adam said as lightly as he could. Joe groaned and slightly opened his eyes.

“Oh my leg, and that stupid horse!” he groaned.

“We’ll have to get you up, Sport is still on the path and we have to get you home,” Adam said quietly.

“I can’t walk Adam,” he groaned.

“I’ll help you, and we can ride double,” Adam stated.

“But aren’t you hurt too?” Joe inquired.

“No brother, I’m fine, stomach is just a little bruised,” Adam said with what he hoped was a smile. Shivers racked Joe’s body, and Adam saw that it was nearly sunset. His stomach was screaming in pain, even squatting down. Luckily for the both of them, the ridge wasn’t steep, just rocky. He carefully lifted Joe’s shoulder and threw it around his around his neck. He heaved him up as carefully as he could. They were only about an hour from the house, but he guessed it would take at least two with the pace they would be going. They staggered to ridge and rested before attempting to climb it. They braved the ridge. Adam knew that Joe’s leg needed attention immediately, but Pa taught him never to splint a bone that was sticking out, or to try and set one. The bone, fortunately, was still protected under the skin of Joe’s leg. He was in essence carrying his brother. His world was a haze of darkness, but he was fine. He had to be fine, for Joe. He had to be strong, no sense scaring his brother. Adam and Joe had to rest at least ten times before they made it to the top of the ridge. When they finally did arrive at the top of the ridge, Joe’s legs collapsed from under him, pulling on Adam’s stomach. His stomach was very wet now. He let out a hoarse scream, and his world turned red.

“Adam?” Joe pleaded.

“I’m fine brother, just pulled on the bruises, now let’s get you on Sport,” he said breathlessly. He barely was able to lift Joe onto the horse. He heaved himself behind him and felt his brother settle against him.

“Adam, there’s somethin’ under your coat,” he whimpered.

“I’m fine brother,” he said as his stomach pulsed in pain. Pa wasn’t going to let him live this one down. He felt Joe slump, and he knew then that he was a fool. The boy probably had a concussion, and he needed to keep him awake! “Joe,” he prompted, “You need to stay awake for me.”

“Tired,” Joe mumbled. Suddenly an idea came to Adam’s mind, but Pa would kill him if he found out.

“How if I teach you a song?” Adam asked.

“What kind?” Joe mumbled.

“The kind that you will _never_ sing in front of Pa,” Adam replied, knowing that his brother would instantly be game.

“Why not?” he asked.

“You’ll know after I sing it, now listen close, my voice isn’t good with these bruises,” he panted.

_Oh I met Sue from Kentucky_

_A lass both bright and fair_

_Her hair so golden shining_

_Her breasts so round and firm_

_And when I met the little lass_

_I tipped my hat just so_

_And touched the silken gold…_

“Can’t sing that for Pa, you’re right, again?” he asked. Adam nodded and sang once more, though his stomach was throbbing. Halfway there, Adam could barely see through the haze. When the lights finally appeared, he gave as loud a yell as he could, there was no way he was getting down from Sport. He didn’t really think he was fine, but Joe came first. Pa came sprinting out of the house, Hoss behind him.

“What happened?” he demanded.

“Fell down the ridge, Joe’s hurt,” he panted. He’d done his job, he’d done well. He could rest now. He heard Pa command one of the hands to get the doctor.

“Hoss, help Adam, I’ve got Joe,” he commanded. His brother was taken from his arms and he found himself being helped to the settee. He was eased onto the seat and saw Joe being helped to his room. His stomach was throbbing and the world was red, but Joe came first. He saw Hop Sing go upstairs, but Hoss stayed with him and rubbed his hands to get some warmth in them. A while later, he heard the doctor come in and go up the stairs, his world was very red. His stomach was on fire.

“Adam?” Hoss asked, “You sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, just some bruises,” he said quietly. He was so tired, and he just wanted to sleep. Hoss snaked a cautious arm around his shoulders and pulled him close slowly. Adam didn’t have the strength to protest this threat to his strength. Hoss turned his stomach towards him and hugged him. His stomach, or something sharp, he didn’t know what was pressed. His world went black for a minute, and he could feel himself slipping into Hoss’ arms, his mind was shutting down. He gave a howl of agony and slipped farther into unconsciousness. Hoss took him by the shoulders demanded what was wrong. He was slipping, down and down into sleep. The pain was too great he couldn’t answer. He felt Hoss unbuttoning his coat, dodging Adam’s fighting hands. It was just some bruises, Joe came first, he was fine. Hoss won and opened his coat.

“Damn it all Adam!!” he gasped in horror. Hoss never swore, _never_. He didn’t want to look at his stomach. “PA, PA, DOC MARTIN, ANYBODY!!” Hoss boomed. “PA, I need ya!!!” he screamed. “You hold on Adam, everything’s gonna be just fine,” he soothed through his desperation. Pa came crashing down the stairs.

“Hoss, what’s the matter?” he demanded.

“Pa, Adam’s stomach,” Hoss gulped. Adam’s world was black, he could finally sleep.

“Good Lord,” Pa breathed. Oh no, what was the matter with them? He was fine, it was just some bruises, his shirt was just wet. He wondered what the fuss was about as he finally slipped into that blissful slumber.

When he finally woke, his stomach felt much better. It was still throbbing. When he cracked open his eyes, it was to a sight he never saw. Pa was sleeping in a chair, but it wasn’t the carefully dressed Pa that he’d always known and loved. His clothes were rumpled and old, and his beard was at least a week old. His eyes had huge violet bags under them, and his hair was strewn about in all directions. Adam was thirsty, he needed a drink of water. He just had some bruises, so he threw his legs to the floor and got up. The world spun and Adam realized that this adventure might be a misadventure. He would not be swayed, however. He took one step, then two. Step three never happened. Step two ended in a trip to the floor. He yelped as his hands struck the floor and he lay sprawled on the cold wood. Pa instantly shot up and looked to his bed. He gave a gasp, great now he’d scared his sleep-deprived Pa. “What are you thinking son?” he demanded once he saw his thirty year-old child (at least in his eyes) on the floor. He hauled Adam up by his armpits and got him back into bed.

“How long have I been asleep?” he groaned.

“Two weeks,” Pa sighed.

“Two weeks?!” Adam demanded.

“We almost lost you Adam!” Pa barked, “Why on earth did you not tell me that you had been _impaled_?!” Adam gulped.

“I got impaled?” he asked. Pa sunk down on the side of his bed.

“Oh Adam, there was so much blood, and it was all the way through. It had pierced your liver…” he babbled.

“Pa,” Adam soothed, “Pa I’m fine.”

“No you’re not!” Pa hissed, “Hoss and I _both_ had to give you transfusions, and we had to call the reverend to do last rights!”

“Last rights?” Adam breathed.

“Yes, I was helping Doc Martin with your brother when Hoss started screaming. I come downstairs to find you with a wood shard I could barely wrap my hand around through your stomach!” he scolded, “ _Why_ in the name of heaven did you not say anything!”

“Joe had to come first!” Adam returned.

“Joe had a mild concussion and a broken leg, both of which could have waited! Doc Martin had to cut the wood out and do surgery!” he barked.

“Pa, I’m sorry,” Adam breathed.

“Oh Adam,” Pa whimpered. He threw his arms around Adam and clung to him tightly.

“I’m sorry Pa, what happened?” he asked quietly.

“When Doc Martin found out what was wrong, I’d never heard so much swearing. There was talk that we might have to send to San Francisco, but you never would have lived that long. I had to give you a transfusion before the surgery for all the blood you lost. Joe and Hoss by that time were hysterical, and Doc Martin was talking about last rights and funeral arrangements. He got the wood out and was able to sew up your liver. You were unconscious but recovering when you began coughing up blood. We hadn’t noticed that your spleen was bleeding, and Doc Martin had to patch you up. You were so weak and frail and you were barely breathing, and that was when the reverend was called in. Hoss finally had to give you a transfusion, and then you finally turned a corner,” Pa explained quietly.

“Oh Pa,” Adam sighed.

“Please, don’t ever do that to me again,” Pa pleaded. Adam knew that he might very well do it again, but he could never tell Pa. He knew now that he had to say something if he wasn’t fine, and usually he would. But, his family came first. He didn’t regret putting Joe first and foremost, and he never would. But, he could be not fine sometimes, though he would still be very sure that he wasn’t.

“I’ll try my best Pa,” Adam finally replied. Pa threw his arms around his eldest once more.

“That’s all I can ask for son,” he whispered. Neither man commented on the fact that Adam didn’t pull away for the first time in twenty-five years.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus Doc Martin removed the biggest splinter in Nevada! I wanted this one to be a little closer of a call for Adam, I didn't really emphasize last time how close he came to dying, and I really wanted to bring that one home this time. In other news, you guys can totally make suggestions on what gets to happen to Adam next (I have a pretty good idea what the +1 will be, but the other three instances are completely open to suggestions). I love hearing from you guys, and any reviews are appreciated. Thanks for the reads, comments, and kudos, you guys are all amazing!


	3. Bleeding Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoss gets a girlfriend and Adam faces an obstacle in his recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry for the late update! I had 27 hours at work this week, plus my double major and homework! Thanks to MedicineNet.com for its symptoms of internal bleeding. I had a plan for this chapter that completely fell through because I didn't know what to do with it, and then I watched "She Walks in Beauty". If you would like to review this episode (this is WHI for it so I'll be going over the general events, but they are different and this is Adam -centric, as is should be, while the episode was Hoss-centric) I highly recommend it, it is now one of my favorites. Thanks to all my wonderful readers and specifically those who gave me the idea that Adam needed to have problems from his previous injury. Thanks again and warning for medical gore and fixation on death!

Adam Cartwright was unhappy, very unhappy. Even Joe, who had a badly broken leg, was out of bed! His brother was perched on the edge of his bed, his leg elevated on the cushioned chair that had become an addition to his room. “Checkmate,” Adam sighed.

“Another game?” Joe asked.

“No thanks brother, the cast is coming off tomorrow, so you’d better enjoy no chores today,” Adam said with a smile.

“Yeah, Pa says that you have another two months in bed,” Joe said with a sigh. Adam rolled his eyes. He was finally beginning to recover. He was allowed to walk around a little, but for all intents and purposes, he was bedridden. Pa and Doc Martin were adamant that he remain in bed. He mustn’t stretch the stitches that Doc Martin had to put inside his liver and his spleen. If he did, then the internal bleeding would start again. In addition, he was still weak from the blood loss, even with the transfusions. He’d tried walking downstairs at midnight the previous day, but he’d had to take two rests and Pa had caught him in the end. The man had simply sighed, picked up his wayward son, and deposited him in bed...after which he deposited himself in the chair Joe was now sitting in. Pa and Hoss had gone to town, talking about supplies or something. All Adam saw was an opportunity to finagle Joe into some freedom, but Pa must have warned, or threatened his brother. He knew better than anyone that his Pa was a very convincing man. He sighed and turned onto his side, which only made him ache a little. He soon heard Joe clump off to his own room. Adam’s thoughts swirled around in his head. He remembered a news article that he’d seen in the newspaper (as a special treat, Pa bought him the San Francisco newspaper once a week). It concerned one Ragan Miller. He had to wonder if she was related to Emilia Miller, but that would have been incredibly rude to ask of the woman. He heard Pa and Hoss come in from town and slam the door behind them. Hoss started to clump up towards his room. Strange that he could now tell the footsteps of his family apart. Hoss entered his room and eased down onto the chair.

“How was town?” Adam asked.

“Adam, don’t go scaring me like that, I thought ya was asleep! Well, we met Ms. Emilia and her sister in town,” Hoss said with a smile.

“Really?” Adam asked, now interested. He rolled over so that he could look at Hoss.

“Yeah, Ms. Ragan, they invited us over for dinner next week,” Hoss sighed.

“That’s very good,” Adam said with fake cheer. So, he was right, that woman was related to Ms. Emilia. Well, he would see how the dinner went and if he needed to intervene, he would. He didn’t want to get Pa involved if he didn’t have to, it was better if this just went away quietly. When Hoss came back with gushing tales a week later, Adam knew that it was time to take action, bedridden or not. He snuck out of the house in the early morning hours. He climbed out his bedroom window, something that he’d been doing since he was fifteen so that he could go for his midnight ride without Pa following him. He slid down the porch and landed in a heap. He was weaker than he thought. He staggered to the barn and retrieved his saddle and blanket. Sport whickered excitedly and tossed his mane. “Yeah old boy, its been awhile,” Adam panted. He staggered over and combed his fingers through Sport’s mane. He heaved the saddle on and walked Sport over to the steps they hadn’t made use of in ten years. He climbed up the steps and swung onto Sport. He went galloping off into the night. Unbeknownst to him, Hoss had seen what had happened and galloped after his wounded brother. When he reached the Miller residence, it was late morning. Adam had Sport take a very easy pace and go around in circles in case anyone had seen and followed. When Ms. Ragan came outside, she walked coyly over to the large oak tree and looked up at him with large, innocent eyes. Five minutes later, he was flush against her body and kissing her heatedly. Ten minutes later he was off to the house. When he finally returned to the house, he tied Sport off onto the rail. He went inside the barn to make sure that Sport had fresh hay and water before he put him in. When he got into the barn, there was Hoss, a thunderous look on his face. “I’ll go back to bed when I get Sport bedded down,” he said casually. Knowing Pa, he’d be up waiting for him, a scolding already planned out in his mind. He’d reread the article last night and put it on the table next to his bed. He would ordinarily have thrown it into the fire, but he had thought that Pa might like something on cattle breeding, that was until he met Ms. Ragan Miller. A cleared throat from Hoss stopped his musings, however.

“Where were ya today, brother?” he asked quietly.

“Here and there, I just went out for a ride,” Adam said. He started to walk back to the stall when Hoss grabbed his arm, and it wasn’t a gentle or loving grip. Adam looked at him in surprise and a little fear.

“How could ya be riding around when ya were so busy kissin’ Ms. Ragan?” Hoss hissed. Adam sighed inwardly. He’d hoped to handle this quietly, but that was impossible now.

“Now look brother,” Adam sighed, “You don’t understand…”

“I understand plenty!” Hoss bellowed. Behind the anger, Adam could hear the sadness, the hurt, and maybe a little resignation. Adam backed up. There were not many times that he had feared his brother, but he knew that Hoss wasn’t thinking clearly. He needed to convince him before he did something rash. Hoss raised his fist and brought it forward in a crushing blow. Adam flew backwards, crashing into some wooden crates. He heard someone running away, Joe or one of the hands, Pa would have burst into the door as soon as heard what was going on. Adam heaved himself up. His brother didn’t look like he was done. His insides were on fire, and he knew that he would need to get some rest, maybe have Doc Martin examine him. But no, Hoss’ party was tonight, and he wouldn’t ruin the occasion. He tipped his hat to Hoss and staggered out the door. He heard Joe bang into the house. He quickly mounted Sport and galloped off. He rode through the night, letting Sport guide himself. Pa would go out to the barn and scold Hoss, and then they would continue with the party, giving Adam some time to cool off as they always did. He would cool down, ride back, and apologize to Pa and Hoss, maybe see if he could explain himself. If he couldn’t, then he would take the blame. It didn’t matter that Ragan had thrust herself forward into Adam’s arms, or that he had been returning the kiss before he really knew what he was doing. He should have put an end to it. He should have told Pa the truth or asked him to go with him, telling him that it was urgent. Pa would have believed him. He looked up to see where Sport was going and smiled. His genius horse was taking him to Lake Tahoe. He would often go here if upset, so it was fitting that horse would know to take him here. He rubbed his side a little bit, for an ache had settled in his stomach. That only aggravated his stitches. He groaned and leaned farther in the saddle, but careful not to let the pommel dig into him. He was about half an hour from the lake, he could hold on for that long. He considered turning back, but there was no reason he should spoil his family’s night. Pa was probably trying to get Hoss to see reason and Joe was probably getting ready for the party. Adam wished that Hoss would have let him explain. But, would Adam have ever extended him the same courtesy? He realized that the answer was probably a no. He would not have let Hoss explain himself, and that was why Adam was in the wrong. This was his fault, he’d hurt his sweet brother, hurt him badly. But that woman, that woman was a serpent! She would never be good for his brother, wasn’t good for any man for that matter. And Hoss, Hoss would marry her. She would convince him to take her back to the city, to faraway places, and Adam would lose his beloved brother. It would be Adam’s fault, all this pain. He had caused this. When Sport finally reached the edge of the lake, Adam stumbled off the horse and curled up. His stomach was hurting, hurting badly. His breathing was rasping in his chest and he could not seem to draw in breaths due to the ball of fire residing in his stomach. Oh no. His stitches, Doc Martin said that he could rip them out if he was jarred enough. He curled further into himself and tried to fight through the pain. Oh, how it hurt. His stomach roiled and he crawled to the sand by the lake. He heaved and up came vomit. It was red and thick. Blood, he was vomiting up blood. Oh Lord, he was dying. His Pa would worry, go looking for his wayward son, only to find said son’s body. He tried to stagger up. He was weak, oh so weak. He crashed to the ground and landed on his knees. It jarred his stomach and he let loose a whimper. He got onto his stomach and crawled towards the dirt.

“Sport,” he rasped. The horse, beautiful animal that he was, walked over. He grasped the cinch and tried to stagger up using his poor horse as a ladder. The world tilted soon after he grasped the pommel. He crashed to the ground and yelped. He crawled under the horse and undid the buckle. He pulled the saddle off the horse and crawled beside it. “Go on home old boy, you’ve done enough,” he whispered. The horse looked down on him with his special intelligence that had made Adam choose him in the first place. With a tired winnie, the horse buckled down and curled up beside his master. Adam’s heart swelled with love and his entwined his fingers in his loyal friend’s flowing mane. Out of all his family, Sport was the one who stayed with him. Pa would try, but Pa was busy, Pa had important things to do. At first it was getting west, and then it was Hoss, then it was settling down, then it was Marie, then it was Joe, and when he came back, it was as a man. Men didn’t need their Pa. Hoss would try too, but it was always as if he and his sweet brother were from different worlds. Joe, Joe Adam chose not to interact with. Most said that Joe was spoiled, that he knew nothing of the hardships the other three men in his family had to endure to get them here. But most didn’t know that he wanted it that way. He sacrificed a great deal so that Joseph Cartwright could remain innocent, so that he could look into his brother’s eyes every day and know that the pain he’d endured had been worth it. Never would Joe have to ride in the back of wagon, hungry, cold, and tired. Joe would never have to try to bring his Pa out of grief while holding a squalling baby. Pa hadn’t forgotten Joe’s six birthday. Adam had stood quietly, wondering if he would get his special lunch since Inger was dead. The angry words about his ungrateful request, that he would eat what he was given, were enough of an answer. He’d buried three mothers, all loved and special. Mother, that unobtainable, worshipful image, Elizabeth Stoddard Cartwright. Mama, the one who’d held him as he cried, who bandaged his bruises, Inger Cartwright. Maman, the only one who could make him laugh with her antics, Marie Cartwright. All three of them, dead and buried. Sport had stayed with him, had served him, and he had never let him down. He gave a wet chuckle as black spots faded in and out of his eyesight. He coughed, and he could feel the blood trickle down his chin. He would meet his mother soon, hug Inger, laugh with Marie. He only had to wait. What to do while he did? It wouldn’t be long now. He knew that singing had eased his pain, had calmed Joe down when he was hurt. But this time, no bawdy song would accompany him to heaven’s gate.

_In the pines, lies my heart_

_In the earth, flows my blood_

_And when I die, I shall ne’er leave my pines_

_Oh never shall I leave my sweet pines_

_My spirit will roam_

_Roam those plains where I bled, bled and died_

_Flying like an eagle o’er plain and pine_

_And should I die, oh sweet Lord hear my cry_

_Should I die, make my mansion from that pine_

_In those pines, dwells my heart_

_And that earth, it runs red_

_And when I die, lie me down_

_Down in that earth, where roots go deep_

_And e’er more shall I sleep_

_Sleep entombed in that pine_

_When I die, I shall be free in that pine._

And with that last croaked word, Adam Stoddard Cartwright closed his eyes.

\---

Adam wished sincerely that Joe would remove the damn cat from his person. Wait, they had a cat? Adam let out a groan and instantly felt a hand run through his hair. It was longer this time, how long had he been asleep? “Pa?” he groaned.

“Adam, son, can you hear me?” Pa asked.

“No,” Adam groaned. Pa’s deep chuckle reverberated throughout the room.

“Come on now son, let me see those eyes,” he said quietly. Adam blinked his eyes open and tried very hard not to laugh. Joe was curled up at the end of his bed like a cat, Hoss was snoring in a chair by the window, and Pa was situated in a chair beside his bed.

“I hope I didn’t ruin the party,” Adam sighed.

“Forget the party!” Pa sighed.

“Did you cancel it?” Adam asked.

“Of course!” Pa snorted, “We left a sign on the door saying that it was cancelled after Joe got me!”

“You all looked for me?” Adam asked.

“We did, we’re not completely stupid you know! We were out after about half an hour, I just couldn’t comprehend what Hoss had done!” Pa sighed.

“Pa?” Adam asked. Pa rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes.

“Oh Adam, I don’t know what to do. I know that Hoss didn’t mean what he did, but you almost died! How can I forgive that, how can I forgive him for almost killing you?” Pa whispered.

“Pa, he didn’t mean…” Adam said.

“I don’t care, I could have lost you!” Pa yelled. Joe lifted his head groggily and blinked. He took in Pa and Adam and his face changed into a solemn expression. Adam saw Hoss stir and open his eyes. Joe got up and prepared to walk out the door.

“Pa, can you help me make some broth for Adam?” he asked. Pa looked at him seriously and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

“Adam?” Hoss rasped.

“No, I should be the one who’s sorry,” Adam said, “I was the one who kissed Ms. Ragan.”

“No, she told me that she kissed ya. She...she told me how ya told her ta stay away from me and she kissed ya. And I-I punched ya and almost killed ya!” Hoss cried. At the end of the sentence Hoss’s shoulders were shaking with sobs.

“Where is Ms. Ragan?” Adam asked.

“Pa found the newspaper article and there was a big fight. Ms. Ragan left two weeks ago,” he said.

“Two weeks ago?!” Adam yelped.

“Ya been asleep for a month Adam,” Hoss said quietly, “Aw Adam, I’m so sorry!”

“Hoss, it’s fine, I’m not angry,” Adam soothed. It wasn’t quite a lie. He was more afraid than angry. His brother was a strong man, and he could injure a man as easily as he could talk to him. He soon found himself with an armful of Hoss.

“I’m so sorry,” Hoss whispered shakily. Adam rubbed the big man’s back and smiled, the big brother again. He would fine, he would have to be fine. He knew what would happen if he wasn’t. Pa would never forgive Hoss, nor would Hoss forgive himself, and then his family would never be whole again. Adam would have to be fine, for Hoss’ sake.  When Pa came up with his broth, he told him that he’d forgiven Hoss, and that if he did then Pa could too. He didn’t mention the fact that he flinched from Hoss for nearly six months after.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I have a meaning behind this madness! There are many kinds of internal bleeding, depending on where it's located, but the type Adam has is intra-abdominal. This type is located in the abdomen and can be unnoticeable if not for the pain that your abdomen will be in. The symptoms are weakness, lightheadedness, shortness of breath, shock, and lowered blood pressure. I did the vomiting blood under the assumption that blood had traveled from the liver to his stomach, filling it with blood. I also knew that his organs would be weak, because Doc Martin had only done stitches and Hoss punched him with full strength. I just wanted to give out some reasoning as my last update was a little on the unrealistic side (who DOESN'T see a huge piece of wood sticking out of the their stomach?!). Thank you so much for all the wonderful support and please keep commenting, I love to look at the discussions and ideas. On that note, I'm still taking ideas for the next two chapters...I'm not really sure where I'm going with them yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to leave any comments or suggestions!


End file.
